Snoring is ruining my life

It’s 2am and the drilling has started. You wake with a start and want to wake your fiancé up to tell him he’s going to have to go next door and talk to them about the noise! And that’s when you realise, it’s not the neighbours drilling again at all, it’s coming from him, he’s snoring.

So you punch him in the shoulder, probably harder than intended but you know, snoring! He then wakes with a start of his own, moans and rolls over. For all of 30 seconds it’s quiet again. 30 seconds isn’t very long. Repeat above steps until you can cope no more, so you go downstairs and join the cat on the sofa instead.

What am I complaining about? For the love of God woman, everyone snores sometimes! Yes, that’s true, but this isn’t sometimes, darling, this is Every. Single. Night!

For us, snoring has come close a number of times, to destroying our relationship. I have a chronic illness and sleep is crucial for my body to repair nightly and reduce symptoms. I cant function on less than 8 hours. Minimum. Gone are the days I can stay out until 4am and get up at 9. No, I NEED sleep. I have a child, I can’t afford to be faced with the daily fatigue that follows around Fibromyalgia sufferers after a sleepless night.

So what can I do about it you ask? Well, I do a lot of punching, and a lot of sofa sleeping. We don’t have the luxury of a third bedroom in our house, so fortunately or unfortunately, we don’t have the option not to share a room. I know, that sounds an extremity, but I know a lot of couples that have their own bedrooms based on the fact that one of them incessantly snores. In my Fiancé’s defence, he’s been to see his GP about our little but loud problem. More than once, and do you know their advice? To go on a website and read the tips. Like we haven’t read every fucking tip there is to read about snoring, online already!! Sure, thanks Doc, why didn’t I think of that? He’s already tried, nasal strips, throat spray, throat foam, even a fucking chin strap to keep his mouth closed, didn’t work. The only thing that sometimes allows me sleep is if I go to bed an hour before him and get to sleep before him, so that when he starts, I’m already asleep. Sometimes it works and sometimes he STILL wakes me up. Not to mention the fact going to bed an hour before him makes our sex life impractical and irregular, but also you lose a closeness between you. You lose the cuddle that comes before you roll over to sleep. You lose the leg over that cocoons you during the night, and although annoying makes you feel safe.

It sounds like a real first world problem, and is I guess, but it’s one that really does test our relationship. I wake up some days so resentful that his snoring has kept me from the sleep my body so desperately demands that I don’t want to talk to him. Other days he wakes up resentful that I’ve banished him to the sofa for something that’s not his fault. Out of his control. To be honest I can still hear him from the sofa, but it’s a welcome dulled down version when he’s not sharing a bed with me. I don’t know what the answer is, maybe surgery? But sleep therapy isn’t well funded by the nhs and it’s another expense we can’t afford to invest in at the moment. What’s the cost to our relationship if we don’t though? I know it’s not his fault but it makes no odds to the despair I feel nightly. Buy a bigger house? Wear ear plugs? (Tried them, can’t hear toddler in the night then though) put a pillow over his face? Maybe! The irony is apparently that I also snore pretty loudly, but I don’t keep him awake so if we’re competing then he’s still in the lead for the loudest and most annoying!

It’s something I don’t think I’ll ever be able to live with, but I also don’t think I’ll ever be able to live without him. So here I am preparing for another shit nights sleep, and getting the pre bedtime cuddle in, just in case I have to abort the master bedroom before sleep hits, again!

How does your sleep space affect your sleep?

I’ve recently decorated my bedroom, which you’ll know if you follow me on Instagram, because of course I’ve uploaded obligatory progress pics.

It’s been a long time coming though, and before we’d painted last week I was actually becoming quite depressed by my surroundings. This happened to me in our old house also. I’d given up on trying to make it look nice and allowed clutter to take over, subsequently my mind became cluttered too. It sounds cliché tidy house, tidy mind and all that jazz, but actually I believe it to be true. If you suffer from anxiety like I do, it’s likely you too are sensitive to your surroundings.

Dark colours can really affect my mood and prior to painting we were living with this awful dark pink, and some ghastly girl’s wallpaper! It was just too busy. Excuse the mess but that’s what I mean, it was a state!

We sold our bed, and before we could find one that was low enough in height to fit under the window,(because of our room’s weird layout,) we were sleeping on a mattress on the floor.

Once the bed situ was sorted and the room was painted, it was time for my fav part. Adding the colour! I chose grey carpet and decided the accent colours would be grey (standard if you know me) and the ever fashionable blush that seems to be doing the rounds in everyone’s gaff at the mo. Pink is actually a really positive colour, and for most people brings a sense of joy and calm. Of course the shade of pink is important, hence me swapping that atrocious dark and dusky pink for some lighter, softer tones.

A huge mirror is also a must as it gives off so much light as well as giving the illusion the room is bigger.

Still left to do is personalise! The walls are bare at the mo and definitely need a few signature photos and prints donning them. I have to say though, even with Shaun’s snoring, I slept so much better last night. I woke up relaxed too, and I’ve actually spent all day up here writing today as it’s just such a nice calm space now.

So if like me you are starting to climb the walls of your mind, a colour change and de clutter might be exactly what you need!

I don’t always believe in feng shui or other spiritual advisory’s but in this case it’s really worked for me. Give it a go, and if it doesn’t work at least you’ll have tidied your room!

Product details are:

Mirror and lampshade The Range

Bedding, love cushion and table lamp George at Asda

Bed and voile panels Amazon

And finally the blind Blinds2go