54 Days postpartum

23.08.21 My daughter was on her way to bed last night when out of nowhere panic hit me full force. My son, lying in the crook of my arm, suddenly started to spit milk out from the sides of his slow flow teat, and I realised, the hand that was holding his bottle was shaking.Continue reading “54 Days postpartum”

Life after secondary Symphis Pubis Dysfunction.

For those of you that follow my blog you’ll know that for the last 7 months I’ve been using crutches and a mobility scooter because for the second time in my lifetime I developed Symphis Pubis Dysfunction during pregnancy, rendering me unable to walk unaided. Symphysis pubis dysfunction (SPD) is a condition that causes excessiveContinue reading “Life after secondary Symphis Pubis Dysfunction.”

32 weeks of growing you

TW: Perinatal anxiety & depressive thoughts. Too many tears. Too many days in bed. I’m done now. I have nothing left. Except I’m not allowed to be done, because there is more time left, there is more to do, there are more weeks you must stay inside of me to keep you safe, and despiteContinue reading “32 weeks of growing you”

31 Weeks of growing you.

I’m tired. Tired of explaining why things are so hard. Tired of feeling stuck on a loop. Tired of the unknown. Tired of my body failing us. Tired of pain. I’m just so fucking tired. I’m irritable, I’m fed up of people saying stupid shit to me, shit they don’t of course even know, isContinue reading “31 Weeks of growing you.”

30 weeks of growing you

With each week my mobility decreases, yours increases. You are kicking those feet like your life depends on it whilst my vagina feels (and looks) like a punched lasagne. (I hope you grow up with a sense of humour because if I stop making jokes I will die) Thirty weeks of uncertainty and stormy waters.Continue reading “30 weeks of growing you”

To my friends (and family) who don’t have fibromyalgia.

Hey, Thanks for being you, for listening, watching, reading and learning about my condition whilst riding this wave with me. I know it’s been years now. I know it ‘gets old’ boring even, to hear me talk about it ALL. THE. TIME. Part of me is sorry, though I’m not sure I’ll ever stop, becauseContinue reading “To my friends (and family) who don’t have fibromyalgia.”

Third trimester

You made it. You’re on the homestretch now. Is the baby ok…..? When I was pregnant with my daughter I had chronic migraine from the minute I found out I was expecting. I was diagnosed with SPD at 16 weeks unable to walk and that was extremely painful. I soon became very depressed and riddenContinue reading “Third trimester”

28 Weeks of growing you

After your sisters birthday it was my own. An event that used to have such a big place in my life but that has dwindled in importance over the years and many are now spent in recovery after the buzz of your sister’s celebrations. We have been out a few days, me on my scooterContinue reading “28 Weeks of growing you”

Call for NICE to play nice with chronic pain sufferers!

For full transparency here is the article NICE published in relation to using alternative methods to treat chronic primary pain that has no known cause. NICE recommends For the most part this starts well, offering people a range of alternative treatments in place of a prescription doesn’t sound so bad does it? The issues hereContinue reading “Call for NICE to play nice with chronic pain sufferers!”

I think I’m failing but my kid still thinks I’m a superhero 🦸🏽‍♀️

It’s no secret that during pregnancy your hormones are all over the shop, one minute you’re chomping on cheese on toast and the next your crying into your cottage pie that your friend drove 25 miles to deliver. It’s a funny old game this growing a human malarkey. Because my health has been on aContinue reading “I think I’m failing but my kid still thinks I’m a superhero 🦸🏽‍♀️”