Ok so if you followed my stories on Instagram over the weekend you’ll know this sparked great debate or rather, C-gate as I’ve now coined it. I said the word cunt on my stories, then quickly followed it up with the fact that Ciara was in bed with me at the time. She was, but she had headphones on so I was less inclined to be choosy about my words.
I say the word cunt a lot. It’s a firm fav in my house. If you met my mum you’d think she was posher than Hyancynth Bucket, but she is also a fan of the C word, years of being partnered with a builder will do that. If you’ve been following me for ages you’ll know it’s in constant use in my company, in our circle of friends and in general. I think I picked it up whilst working in a transport cafe back nearly 20 years ago, where builders and tradesmen throw it around like a term of endearment. I don’t go into the corner shop and chat on the phone whilst calling my husband a C U Next Tuesday. Nor do I use it at work, but I do swear in good company and I do swear often.
My daughter hears the words fuck and shit daily, yet she’s only said either once, back when she was two years of age and describing a fly as ‘that fucking fly’ (her exact words.) And she called our dog a shitbag recently, I assume after hearing me say it. I swear in front of my child, I don’t swear at her. I think there’s a significant difference. When she has on occasion repeated words that aren’t age appropriate we explain to her that they are grown up words and she isn’t to say them until she’s a grown up. I don’t judge people based on their extensive, colourful or in cases, otherwise limited vocabulary. Having said that, here I am explaining myself. The reason I feel like this needs a justification is because after having a lengthy discussion with my husband about getting trolled because of my use of it, and he said ‘Well if you put yourself out there, that’s what happens’ and I responded with ‘That’s the kind of ignorance that causes people’s suicide.’
Why? I’ll tell you….. It’s absolutely not ok to berate someone online just because they use a word you’re not okay with. Please let me be clear I am not referring to people using facist or racist terms, of course that is NEVER okay, but in circumstances similar to my own where I used a word to describe a crappy situation, I don’t feel it’s justified to attack my parenting.
If in a social setting someone told me they didn’t like the word I’d used I would apologise for offending them, sure. BUT if I use a word inside my home and post it on my Instagram it does not call for me to be dragged over hot coals in punishment because ‘I must be a terrible mother.’ Firstly – Get over it! And secondly – Scroll on by, hun!
I see things every single day about conspiracy theories, politics, and god knows what else, that I find distasteful. Do I message everyone who posts these things and ask them to sort their lives out? No. Why? Because I’m not a total ‘c*nt’ that’s why (pun one hundred percent intended)
I also don’t judge people based on words they use, how they speak, or similar. My daughter is loved more than life itself. Yes she has a hard time sometimes witnessing my health struggles, but she is never not loved. She has two loving parents, two sets of grandparents and 8 godparents 4 of whom are very much in her life, so she has plenty of people looking out for her making sure she is okay and cared for. Whatever you think about someone’s parenting, unless the child is in danger or being abused in some form it is not your place to tell the mother how to speak in front of them. It’s also never your place to give your unsolicited opinion on how someone speaks. I’ve met parents who never swear and their kids are still petulant and badly behaved, and I’ve met parents whose first language is profanity and their kids are some of the politest children on this earth. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we all parent differently. Not wrongly.
Just because I am someone’s mum does not mean I automatically lose my own personality. I have made no promises under oath to never swear or get annoyed. I’m human. And I think other humans would do well to remember, to judge less, scroll on more often, and in essence Chill The Fuck Out and mind their own business. What’s that saying about keeping your mouth shut until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes??? Yes, do that.