Resign And Redesign

I’ve made a decision to follow a different path this year.

I’ve resigned from my full time job because truthfully, being a mum of a toddler, a fiancé and having a FTJ (minus 7 hours, but let’s not get petty) with a chronic illness, for me, just isn’t working!

I’ve tried to make it work for us as family but it didn’t.

I was off more than I was in, I’d work one week then be laid up in bed the following. Ciara would get sick, childminders or Nanny would get sick too.

I have been breaking myself trying to keep up.

Forever falling helplessly behind on all the things that matter and scrambling to finish the things that really don’t.

Begging people to understand and let’s face it, people don’t understand unless it’s happening to them.

Yes. We will be skint.

No. I can’t ‘afford’ to give up work.

But I’m not giving up work.

I’m just doing something differently to how I’ve always done it.

Let’s think about the definition of work….

Is it just work if you go everyday and get paid a monthly or weekly salary? An hourly or day rate, for your services?

Because to me, work is effort you put in to something, that in turn benefits or rewards you.

So yes, that could be a 9-5,

or it could be parenting or caring for a relative, it could be looking after your health to make you feel better physically, mentally or both, It could be dancing, singing, admin, relationships, IT, scrubbing floors, bar tending, being a footballer or CEO and so on…..

Work is, whatever YOU think it is.

So yes I’ve left my job, but I haven’t left behind ‘work.’ I still have so much work to do. More now than ever, in fact.

I need to work on my health in a big way this year as any improvement will determine whether or not we can try for another baby, and expanding our family is important to us. (I know, I know, I hated being pregnant, don’t remind me I’m trying to pretend I can’t remember how fucking crucifying it was!)

It also determines how well I’m able look after the family I’ve already got.

I’ve decided to try and do more of what I love too, and as if you haven’t guessed, that’s writing.

I get that it probably seems like becoming an author is a silly pipe dream, but why can’t I at least try and make that dream a reality?

It’s MY dream after all! I’m also studying copywriting and marketing so I’m trying a transformation of sorts.

Do you ever wish you’d followed your dreams, but were put off for different reasons?

I’ve noticed sadly, that some people only push you to follow your dreams when they are following their own, or they’re already living theirs. Sometimes even the people closest to you resent your success.

But, it’s not without sacrifice of course! We are sacrificing an ‘almost’ full time salary in order for me to be able to do all of the above. That means the day trips every weekend and lunches out, full package cable TV along with sporadic weekends away, will all have to be reigned in.

Some of them will have to go on the back burner indefinitely.

And I need to be shopping smarter and budgeting better. (I plan to blog about this so stay tuned.)

People skint themselves all the time to follow a dream. To study, undergo fertility treatment, cosmetic surgery, a new business venture etc etc

So why not sacrifice mine for better health?

It will also mean I get to provide my own childcare for the most part and that was an expense that was leaving us at a deficit financially most months. Since mums accident and not being able to lean on her as much physically, I haven’t been able to keep to a 9-5 routine 4 days a week, so everything has suffered. My work, my parenting, my physical health and to the biggest effect my mental health too.

Ciara’s at an age now where I miss so bloody much as it is and until she starts school I want to spend as much time with her as possible.

Of course I’m not in a place financially that allows for me to not bring in a wage at all so I will need some form of paid job that fits in with our family (let me know if you know of any going)

I realise whilst writing this I’ve been trying to justify my decision, to both myself and you guys, I really wish I didn’t do that so much. I shouldn’t have to! Whatever I choose is my choice isn’t it, but the roots of self doubt are imbedded deep, and it will take more than a eureka moment to change that!

So this is the path we’re following for now. Maybe in 6 months I’ll be pulling my hair out, my health might be better and I’ll be back at work full time with a half finished book on my idrive 🤷🏻‍♀️ but until then, I plan to enjoy the extra time doing things I love that don’t cost any money.

So with new found positivity, I’ll be sharing my tips and experiences about how to get the best out of life on a smaller budget.

Please let this post make you think about your own dreams and aspirations.

Decide how badly you want them because even if you don’t make them all come true, just deciding to try is an empowering feeling.

I’ve already sent off a few written pieces to be looked at for features in online magazines and blogs.

I won’t say which ones in case they tell all me to politely get fucked, but please continue to share my blogs, like my page and posts, subscribe to my wordpress account etc.

What ever it is you do, however little will be going a long way towards making my dreams come true 💓 So thank you and keep stopping by. Here’s to 2019 Divas, the future is now!!